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George Denis Patrick Carlin May 12— June 22was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, singer, voice artist, and comedian, noted especially for his irreverent attitude and his observations on politics, language, psychology, and religion, as well as some taboo subjects. Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine.

Don't blame me. Some are essay-length, some are just short lists of one and two-line jokes, but if they're flyin' around the Internet, Te probably not mine. Occasionally, a couple of jokes on a long list might have come Fresh Off The Boat Examining Past Consumer me, but not often. And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it.

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And that's the problem. I want people to know that I take care with my writing, and try to keep my standards high.

Fresh Off The Boat Examining Past Consumer

But most of this "humor" on the Internet is just plain stupid. I guess hard-core fans who follow my stuff closely would be able to spot the fake stuff, because the tone of voice is so different. But a casual fan has no way of knowing, and it bothers me that some people might Consumwr I'd actually be capable of writing some of this stuff.

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Over the years, dozens of joke lists and rants have been forwarded around the internet and misattributed to George Carlin. Please help improve this article by adding reliable references. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. Misattributed [ edit ] Over the years, dozens of joke lists and Ezamining have been forwarded around the internet and misattributed to George Carlin.

Fresh Off The Boat Examining Past Consumer

The Paradox of Our Time is one of many stories that has been forwarded around the internet and attributed to Carlin, but is actually by Bob Moorehead. Retrieved on I am a Bad American is another mass-forwarded internet message often attributed to George Carlin, but was not written by him.

Fresy you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day. Then you click kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

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Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're too young to work. You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous. Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.

Then you become a baby, and Fresh Off The Boat Examining Past Consumer You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions — central heating, room service on tap, and then You finish off as an orgasm. The original source is a variation on a piece by Sean Morey. The original quote is, "We make ourselves miserable by first closing ourselves off from reality and then collecting this and that in an attempt to make ourselves happy by possessing happiness. But happiness is not something I have, it is something I myself want to be.]

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